Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Top 10 Most Anticipated Fall Films

It is now September. And usually by this time each and every year, I have very little to look forward to the remaining months. With 2013, that is not the fucking case. This summer has been horrendous for film. With any film I DID like, I only really just... Liked. Usually there is at least two or three films that I either obsessed over, or loved. Not the case... At all. This fall not only looks great in comparrison, but actually is pretty damn good standing alone. I have TWO Stallone flicks and one Mel Gibson flick within a week of each other?! FUCK ME RUNNING.

1. Escape Plan

This film has been on my radar for quite a while. And after Stallone's Bullet to the Head & Schwarzenegger's The Last Stand being not very good at all, I was a bit worried that I'd have nothing to really look forward to that wasn't The Expendables 3 from these two. Then the trailer hit. Fuck. I was actually uber-impressed as to how good the fucking movie looked. The film cost $70 million to make, which is $30 million less than The Expendables 2, and it looks higher-quality than EX2. And I mean that in terms of production value (it's going to be hard to top EX2... Until Expendables 3).

One other giant plus this film has is Schwarzenegger's screentime. From early reviews that I've read, Arnie is in the film almost as long as Sly. With The Expendables, you almost come to expect short-lived scenes. But this is a duo-film, not an ensemble piece.

Im so fucking amped for this film, that I rearranged a trip that Im taking the same time it comes out. Originally, I was supposed to fly out to California the 15th of October and get back home the 20th. Escape Plans comes out the 19th. There is NO FUCKING WAY I am not having a drunken private screening the second we receive the digital key to unlock the film. So, I will now be headed to the airport minutes after the movie is over. The reason I'm flying to California is because my buddy Ross is getting married. I informed him of this shuffling, in which he replied, "You're a fucking idiot.".

2. Machete Kills

Two words. THE MEL. I liked the first Machete a lot. Probably more than most people. Everyone loved the feux-trailer, but not everyone loved the film itself. I loved it not only because it actually made me laugh (out loud for that matter), but because it was an ensemble film unlike The Expendables. And believe me, The Expendables is my favorite kind of ensemble film, but Machete was just so fucking all over. The fact that Robert DeNiro and Steven Seagal share a film credit together is baffling. I know, I know, DeNiro has chosen some lousy films in recent and not-so-recent years, but Seagal is on a whole other (sub) level.

Machete Kills is following the first film's tradition. Mel Gibson, Charlie Sheen (AKA Carlos Esteves)... Lady Gaga. 'Nuff said. On top of all of that, Mel is the heel (as he is in EX3). Mel has never played a full-on baddie before. An anti-hero? Yeah. It'll be interesting/sexually-inticing to see what he does with it. Is this going to be a "real movie"? Probably not. Do I give a fuck? Absolutely not.

3. Grudge Match

Here is yet another duo-film with Stallone. Except, this time with DeNiro. Which for a few reasons, is pretty damn cool. One, this is a boxing film. Of course it's going to elicit the "Balboa vs. LaMotta" & "Itallian Stallion vs. Raging Bull" response, as it should (and most certainly intended), but for me, it's a Copland reunion. Copland, to me, is criminally underrated. And both are GREAT in it. More so Stallone due to him breaking his mold. Instead of tough, in shape and intimidating, he was a push-over, out of shape, and timid.

Grudge Match has the potential to be a great feel-good comedy. But I don't expect much else. And where is that "feel-good" apsect coming from? It seems to be riding off the success of Rocky Balboa. A lot of the film looks and feels like Balboa. Which is not a bad thing. It's just unoriginal, especially with Stallone involved. Regardless, I think it'll be a lot of fun.

4. Gravity

A lot of the films coming out are either released in IMAX, 3D, or IMAX 3D. And most of them don't warrant either of the three. Because it's either not shot with IMAX film stock, post-converted from 2D to 3D, or both. With Gravity, I hear the conversion process is unnoticeable. Critics are throwing around the words "breathtaking" and "intense". Those words can be used for almost any film, if you wanted to. But after watching the trailers, I feel as if it really has the potential to be so. Obviously, if you're converting 35MM to IMAX, it will not consume the entire screen, but the upper hand that I think Gravity has is that it's outer space. With films that have landscapes that extend past the frame, it's visually evident where the frame ends. With a film that's background is most likely 80% black, it'll be pretty easy to become emmersed. From a story standpoint, who knows?

5. The Wolf of Wall Street

Martin Scorsese.

6. Parkland

I am a sucker for almost anything that has to do with the JFK Assassination. I've spent countless hours on YouTube watching theories, footage, interviews, everything. films like Oliver Stone's JFK are like porn to people like me. It's so incredibly facsinating. And the reason why Im looking forward to Parkland is because it's not so much about the assassination itself as much as it is about the doctors who tried to save him. Should the film be called Parkland: A Lost Cause? Yes. But it should be an interesting watch nonetheless.

7. Jack Ryan

There is little-to-nothing released about this film. There's a few still images and a cast-listing released. But you know what? I really dig Patriot Games, and think this new incarnation of the Jack Ryan character can work. Twice I've tried to make it through The Hunt for Red October, and couldn't. I LOVE Patriot Games, Clear and Present Danger was a step-down, and never bothered with The Sum of All Fears. But something about this reboot has me curiously optimistic. I dig Chris Pine (who is the new Jack Ryan), I've grown a new-found love for Kevin Costner (who is his mentor), and Kenneth Brannagh can direct a film, that's for sure. But can he direct one that actually interests me? We'll see.

8. All Is Lost

I guess this can be dubbed "Life of Robert Redford" considering the entire film is about Robert Redford trying to survive the conditions of the sea. In all honesty, I give the man credit. He's gotta' carry this entire film by himself at what? 77 years old? Redford will always be one of those actors that I respect. But one of those "Shit, I wish..." actors. What is a "Shit, I wish..." actor? For instance, Robert Redford & Paul Newman. The two movies they did together were not only incredibly well-made, but fun as fucking hell. I speak of course of Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid and The Sting. They should have made like 27 more movies together. And everytime I see Robert Redford, I always think, "Shit, I wish he would have made more movies with Paul Newman". If Newman were alive, he could have been the fucking boat.

9. Metallica: Through The Never

I was reluctant to put this on this list due to my allegiance to the almighty Megadeth. But I gotta' admit, this looks like a blast in IMAX 3D. Im not sure how the narrative aspect is going to organically mesh with the concert footage, but it's an interesting concept. I just wish Mustaine were still in the band for one reason, and one reason only... DAVE MUSTAINE'S HAIR IN IMAX 3D.

10. The Art of the Steal

Kurt Russsell.
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