Thursday, August 18, 2011

Retro-Appreciation: Roadie

A couple weeks back, a co-worker of mine suggested a movie to me called Roadie. And how he sold me the movie was, "The whole objective is that this groupie MUST travel the road to have sex with Alice Cooper.". Okay, this movie can't have existed in the 80's. That is something I would have come up with intoxicated (probably even sober). But fortunately enough, there is someone else out there whole managed bring that idea to frusion. I find it simply amazing that this movie was made. Simply. Amazing. What isn't amazing is how I hadn't found out about this film until now. I've listened to Alice Cooper since I was 7 (didn't start loving him until about 13), and Im just finding out about this movie NOW? Despicable on my end...

Anyway, so as I mentioned before, the film is essentially about a girl who just needs to get laid by Alice Cooper. Oh yeah, and it has Meatloaf (starring), Blondie, and Art Carney. Meatloaf plays a hick truck-driver who gets sucked into being a roadie for Hank Williams Jr. And turns out, Meatloaf is a phenomenal roadie. There are a few skewed plot points in my memory due to a fair amount of alcohol-consumption, but by the end of it, it instantly became a favorite of mine. It is indeed as retarded as it sounds. And it isnt by any stretch a "good movie". But it sure as hell is fun. As Ive explained before, it's The Blues Brothers with a potent dose of Budweiser, incest, retardation, loud music... And Alice Cooper.

For those of you who enjoy the good 'ole rundown, this film includes:

- Meatloaf being sloppy

- Meatloaf having a literal ram-head-butt bar fight

- Meatloaf saving a Blondie concert single-handedly

- A redneck wedding

- A redneck beer-cooler/wheelchair

- Cokehead laundry mat grandmothers

- Sexual-arousal by Alice Cooper

- A mobile redneck telephone booth/house phone

- And honestly too much to mention...

To elaborate on points that AREN'T Alice Cooper, incest, or retardation, there is an actual conflict. That being, Meatloaf falls in love with the groupie who wants to sleep with Alice Cooper. And through that, the last act seperates into it's own little sections. With a movie like this, you actually do need a little SOMETHING to give it some glue to stick together. As much fun as it is to hop from bar to bar, show to show, you need something that at least imitates a story. Now the last act is where it gets juicy. For me, it's almost like going down a water slide. For the whole movie you get the talk of "Alice Cooper! Alice Cooper!", you hear the songs, but you never get to see him. But as I said about the water slide, you're getting wet along the way, but then you spill out into the pool. And in the last act, you get to not only meet him, but he also performs.

Really, when it comes down to it, it's just a fun movie to drink to. But then again, what isn't? Oh yeah, Memento. If you're a giant Alice Cooper/Meatloaf/Blondie fan, watch it. If you enjoy The Blues Brothers, watch it. If you enjoy films in which it's posters feature tiny leaves between a film festival logo... Just fuck off.

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