World War Z

When it comes to zombie films, I have a couple rules. And most of those rules apply to actual zombie films. World War Z is NOT a zombie film. It wants to be, and people will classify it as a zombie film, but it most certainly is not. Zombies, in the classic sense, were once humans that are infected with the zombie virus. They then come back to "life" and move eerily slow due to the rigor mortis that has set in. Not fast. I wont even hold that against WWZ because it doesn't even feel like a zombie film. The film should have been called "World War O" (World War Outbreak) or "World War I" (World War Infected). This does not carry the same weight as the Dawn of the Dead remake. The original '78 DOTD is a classic ZOMBIE film. And the remake should have been treated as such. With WWZ, nothing was totally sacred. Yes, I know it's based on a best-selling novel, but the translation from novel to screen is a lot more interpretive than screen to screen.

The film starts off relatively quick. And in most cases with films like these, it can be an added bonus for two reasons. 1) It means you don't have to waste time with underdeveloped characters. 2) It means that you can get straight to the bulk of what peaked your interest in the film to begin with. What is lost in the process is the sense of "Wait, why?...". It only takes minutes until the outbreak erupts. And at first, you experience it with the family. Out of left field and "unexpected". I quote "unexpected" because they don't give you enough time to forget what you came to see. Look at Cloverfield. When I first saw that, I went in wanting a great monster film, and 20 minutes in, it was all about planning a party for a dude who was moving out of the country. Im not saying it was fantastic acting or great character development, but it took your mind off the fact that you were watching a monster film, and BAM! The attack. WWZ lacked that. There was no shock and awe. I was expecting the shock and awe. And when it did happen, nothing new was brought to the table. In fact, I think there were still stale leftovers and dirty napkins left over from years previous.

This film is a boost to the ego for anyone who considers themselves a psychic. You can see any and everything that is headed your way, and even worse... Anything that was a surprise, was a let-down. Also, whoever shot the film must have their own personal earthquake, because the first 25 minutes looked as if it were shot by a 1-day clean meth addict.

The film did have a few shining moments. Most of which were it's intense outbreak scenes. Any scene in which you depict a society being ravaged by a mass of unknown beings, it's hard to act like you're not the least bit interested. But at the same rate, that's like saying, "I heard the new single from that one band, but the rest of the album sucked elephant dicks". You obviously went to the film to see what initially intrigued you, but if there isn't much else, then... Who gives a flaming fuck?

The major issue I have with these films is that there is RARELY any character portrayed by the actors. Brad Pitt plays a father who strives do the right thing and make sure his family is alright. Honorable? Absolutely. Particularly interesting? Absolutely not. Look at John McLane (From 1, 2, & 3). He wasn't a piece of shit. He cared about his family and all, but he also was a smartass asshole. I seriously don't understand why writers and producers even waste their times coming up with character names anymore for characters like this. As far as Im concerned, Brad Pitt played _______ ________.

Onto some things that particularly bothered me... Flashbacks. Listen, I have no problem with flashbacks. A lot of the times, they're essential to a film. But it's HOW you use a flashback, THAT is where you can falter. There is a scene where Pitt's character sees a man turn into a zombie from his perspective. And in that same scene about 25 minutes prior, there is a shot of the camera zooming down to his face. In his flashback, he sees that exact same shot. Unless there was a scene cut out of WWZ that involved Pitt's character as a cinematographer... GET THE FUCK OUT. Lazy. Fucking. Editing. Another scene was where the central task force has to land in Israel. Understand this: Humans have turned into savage beasts. Globally. They're killing everyone. Globally. They act in erratic, spastic & uncontrollable ways. The Israel ground control says, "Identify yourselves!". Seriously? You have millions of "zombies" terrorizing your land and plane identification is the issue? Maybe it's just my feeble brain, but if a plane is soaring perfectly in the air in a time such as that, I would look at that not as a threat, but as a savior.

You know what, Im actually getting bored as fuck thinking about this movie now. The only "fresh" idea brought to the table was the "zombie"/ant-climb idea. I admit, that was a pretty original and creepy idea. Aside from that, World War Z ended up being World War ZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZz (as predicted)

P.S. Since the film leaves it open for another one, I declare the cause right here: The largest stash of cocaine known to man. After all, they act nothing like "zombies" and everything like Carrie Fisher.