Sunday, December 19, 2010

Top 5 Films of 2010

The year of 2010 was a pretty okay year I guess. Nothing like 2008, but a decent year nonetheless. A few let downs, a few as-good-as-expected-or-better films, and some real surprises. Anyway, here you go...

1. The Expendables

Fuck, do I love The Expendables. As I said before, it's not Rambo, but it's as close as it's going to get, in terms of old school action, I think. And what I love is that the term "The Expendables" is already being used as a description word. I've heard about numerous gather-of-stars, "It's The Expendables of __________". It's just nice to know that Stallone has created a new franchise. Do I hope he spends a little more time on the script the next time around? Yeah, it would help. But The Expendables was pretty much exactly what I wanted! And Im extremely happy it did so well opening weekend. $34 million for an R-rated action film? That's great. Especially given that it had very few "new" star power. Yeah, it had Jason Statham. But Jason Statham doesnt really drive box office sales. He has more of a cult following. To read my Expendables review, click here: THE EXPENDABLES REVIEW

2. Edge of Darkness

As I dont like to do with these retarded "Top" lists, I dont like to reiterate what I have already said in past reviews. So I'll keep it short. Edge of Darkness was fucking great. That's really all you need to know. It was a great slow-burn thriller, sprinkled with some action (which is how it should be). It was great to see Gibson again on the big screen. A lot of people would disagree with me, but fuck 'em. To read my Edge of Darkness review, click here: EDGE OF DARKNESS REVIEW

3. Machete

Here's a film that I never got around to review. But Machete was fucking GREAT. This was one of the surprises of 2010. Back in 2007 when Grindhouse came out, the faux-trailers were the best part of the experience (as most agreed). Machete being the best. So when I heard Robert Rodriguez was doing a full-length film about Machete I cringed as if I witnessed Kirstie Alley at a Golden Corral. But then casting news let out and I suddenly got an unwilling smile on my face. Robert DeNiro AND Steven Seagal in the same movie? Fuck. On top of that... Don Johnson? Cheech Marin? FUCK. It sounded too awesome to pass up. Then the trailer hit, and it looked pretty damn cool.

So fast-forward to September, I watched it, and it was fucking GREAT. First and foremost, it was hilarious. The movie could have easily been just balls-out fun. But it was actually hilarious. There are so many scenes where I lost my shit. For those of you who havent seen it, look out for...

- The blood-thermometer
- Any scene with Steven Seagal
- The electrocuting fence demo
- Don Johnson being awesome
- "Machete don't text."
- Cheech's monitor-cross
- Tom Savini's Assassin promo video
- Any scene with Steven Seagal
- "Death By Low-Rider Truck"
- Robert DeNiro as a wetback
- Robert DeNiro's political campaign
- And whole fuck-load more...

I really thought the Machete full-length was going to be a cake's worth of icing on an enjoyable cupcake. But oddly enough, Rodriguez baked a DELICIOUS cake. With JUST enough icing! He successfully made an enjoyable cupcake into an equally enjoyable cake. Kudos.

4. Solitary Man

I had a feeling the Michael Douglas film of 2010 would make it to my list. But I didnt think it would be this one. It's just a shame Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps was a fart cake of a movie. But enough about Wall Street, I talked enough about it HERE.

Solitary Man was a movie I wasnt really looking forward to, but would watch it if I caught it on TV. I ended up renting it with my girlfriend one night, and I actually really liked it (hence why Im kind of writing about it on a "Top 5" list). Douglas was great in it (as usual). Hell, he was great in Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps (for what you saw of him), but the difference is, Solitary Man was an actual GOOD movie. Another great addition to the film, it reunited Douglas with Danny DeVito, which was great to see. I mean, there really isnt too too much to say about the film, except that it was a nice little surprise. Ill probably pick this up on Blu-Ray in a couple weeks and give it a re-watch.

5. Toy Story 3

"The Boy Are Back In Town". The theme song for two films this summer... The Expendables and a very similar film... Toy Story 3. Okay, Im lying, Toy Story 3 had a few more explosions.

Im actually drinking right now, and losing motivation to write about cartoons, so Ill just say that Toy Story 3 was rad. With Despicable Me being RIGHT behind it.

The Un-Seen List:

Here are a few films that I still have not seen, that would probably make my list...

Shutter Island - I watched the beginning with my buddy, but we were drinking and passed out.

The Killer Inside Me - I heard it's misogynist. Why not?

Inception - A Christopher Nolan film about dreams? I dont think Ive been sober enough this year to see it yet.

The Town - I really enjoy heist films.

True Grit - Coen Brothers? Jeff Bridges? You bet your ass Im there... Just not this year. It comes out on Christmas, and Im fairly certain Ill be too busy to catch it. The ironic thing, Im a manager at a movie theatre. The only thing is, we lost the film to the competing theatre.

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