The Films of 2009

2009 is shaping up to be a... Decent year. I really cannot see anything in the next coming years beating 2008. In '08 we had Cloverfield, Rambo, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, The X-Files: I Want To Believe, The Dark Knight, Burn After Reading, Religulous, and so much more. This year we have quite a few good movies coming out, but Im not nearly as jacked for 'em as I was Rambo, Indy, X-Files and so on. But that isn't to say Im not strongly anticipating some of these films. So instead of rambling on about 2008, Ill ramble on about 2009...

The order Im listing these films are in the order of their release dates (as they stand now).

First up is Terminator Salvation. The month of May was awesome in '08, just for Indy alone. But this month is sadly weak. X-Men Origins: Wolverine is the opener for May, and Wolverine looks pretty lame. Gambit looks too "pretty", the FX looks pretty crappy, and their casting for some of the characters (Ryan Renolds as Deadpool?!) has been so incredibly bad, it's enough for me to not give two fucks about the movie. Anyway, back to Terminator Salvation... The movie can fail, sure. But from the looks of the trailers, it looks like it'll be a 6.5 (out of 10) at best. I mean, I can only expect so much from a director who calls himself "McG". This is supposedly the first of the new trilogy. Terminator Salvation is released May 22nd.

Last in the month of May is Sam Raimi's Drag Me To Hell. Ive said it before, and Ill say it again... HORROR IS DEAD. I really don't care to watch any horror movies made past 1995. But Drag Me To Hell looks cool. Yes, this is Sam Raimi's comeback to horror. But Im not at all expecting a masterpiece. I just want a good, classic, and creepy horror movie. That's the number one flaw with horror films nowadays, they're not creepy. They're just jumpy. James Cameron said it best, there's a difference between horror and terror. In horror films, the atmosphere should make you scared, not that lame pop-outs and loud noises. Horror is all psychological, when terror really has to do with your nerves. And Drag Me To Hell looks like a HORROR movie. Classic score, creepy imagery, and an interesting story. Am I saying Drag Me To Hell is going to bring horror back? Not at all. It's only going to be a breath of fresh air. And at this point, that's all I need. Drag Me To Hell opens on May 29th.

Next up is my absolute number one film of the year. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. I am so fucking ready for this loud, giant, and shiny fucking movie. Back in '07 when Transformers first came out, I wasn't really anticipating to see it. Then I saw it and was quite impressed. Months after, I decided to see it IMAX, drunk, and ready. Holy shit. Was that fucking awesome. Then it came out on DVD, I snagged it, watched it, and I was hooked. Now after seeing the Superbowl TV spot with Devastator? I lost it. Then the teaser trailer came out (with literally 3 words spoken in the whole trailer), and it kicked my ass once more. I dont have a clue how they're going to top Revenge of the Fallen with 3. They go to fucking Japan and Egypt. And there's Constructicons. This is going to be so boss. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen opens June 26th.

Next is Public Enemies. It's Michael Mann's new gangster film with Johnny Depp playing John Dillinger. The trailer that was just released looks killer. There's one specific shot with Depp holding his Tommy gun out of a car window that looks particularly badass. There's really not much else to say about it, other than this looks like a rockin' movie. Public Enemies opens on July 1st.

Following Public Enemies the week after is Bruno. Haha, I don't care how annoying the quotes from Borat have gotten. The movie is still hilarious. Bruno is Sacha Baron Cohens's next mockumentary. But instead of with an ignorant middle-eastern man, it's with an uber-flamboyant gay guy. I really don't know too much about it (since nothing has really been released yet), but I did see them shooting a clip pranking Schwarzenegger. Not sure if it's going to make it into the film though. Oh yeah, and the movie's full title is: Bruno: Delicious Journeys Through America for the Purpose of Making Heterosexual Males Visibly Uncomfortable in the Presence of a Gay Foreigner in a Mesh T-Shirt. Bruno: Delicious Journeys Through America for the Purpose of Making Heterosexual Males Visibly Uncomfortable in the Presence of a Gay Foreigner in a Mesh T-Shirt hits theatres July 10th.

The next movie Im not even sure why Im putting on this list, but I kinda' do wanna' see it just to see how bad it fails. And that's G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. The movie I am almost 97.6% certain is going to fail. I have no idea what they are trying to do with this movie, but it looks bad. Stephen Sommers' best movie is Deep Rising, and that movie is terrible(ly) awesome. And I highly doubt he can even do the same thing (which really isn't a good thing) with G.I. Joe. I guess when August 7th rolls around, we'll see. But Im fairly certain we wont have to wait until then to know whether or not it sucks piss-farts.


Next up is Quentin Tarantino's Inglorious Basterds (spelling intentionally incorrect). I read on Latino Review, that the script Tarantino had written for this movie was incredible. But then again, that's THEM, and not ME. But Ill be honest, I was not impressed with the first trailer they released for this film. And Im going to try and not let the marketing for this film get in the way with me seeing it. But the trailer was very modernized. Which totally doesn't fit with a WWII film trailer. Hopefully the Weinstein Company gets their pants on right, and markets the film a little less... shittier when it comes closer to opening. Inglorious Basterds opens August 21st.

After August, there is absolutely NOTHING in September. So fast forward to October 2nd to Shutter Island. Shutter Island is Scorsese's new mental asylum film. The movie is based on a booked called Ashecliff Island, and from the synopsis that I read on the book, it sounds killer. DeCaprio is set to star in the movie, which is rad because eventhough I didnt really like Gangs of New York, Scorsese and DeCaprio did an excellent job together in The Departed. Fucking love The Departed. Definitely pumped for Shutter Island.

November holds only one good film. And that's The Wolfman. I saw a bootleg trailer from one of the Comic Cons, and it looks to be a very traditionally-shot film. Joe Johnson (who did Jurassic Park III) really hasn't done too much stuff that interested me, or that I liked, but I think the guy has the ability to something good. And The Wolfman might be that. He also has the great acting abilities of Benicio Del Toro, and the INCREDIBLE werewolf make-up FX done by Rick Baker (fuck yeah!) to help him out. So Im definitely giving this movie a shot. The Wolfman opens up November 6th. Oh yeah, and Joe Johnson is also partly responsible for some of the awesome FX in Star Wars, Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi, and Raiders of the Lost Ark. Props to that mo'fucker.

Up next is Peter Jackson's The Lovely Bones. I hold Peter Jackson up high on my top-directors list. From Bad Taste, Dead Alive, and The Frighteners, to The Lord of the Rings and King Kong. Peter Jackson can do it all. And that's why Im pretty pumped for The Lovely Bones. Because it's really not something he's done before. It's about a girl that gets murdered and goes to Heaven to watch over her family and killer, and has to decide between getting revenge or her desire for her family or something. All in all, it sounds pretty cool. I just really enjoy watching Peter Jackson's movies. The Lovely Bones opens December 11th.

20th Century Fox is saving the best for last. I know I said Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is my top film to see of this year. Well, it's really a tie. It's a tie between Transformers and James Cameron's Avatar. What has James Cameron been doing since he made Titanic and got rich as FUCK?! He's been making Avatar. For 12 years, Cameron has been working on this film. That includes pre-production, principal photography, and post-production (which he recently JUST started). Cameron said this is going to be the most complex film ever made. And I believe him because James Cameron is a true artist and knows exactly what he wants. Now what exactly IS Avatar? From what Ive gathered, it's a combination of Aliens and The Abyss. It's also a combination of live-action and motion capture. I have NO idea how he's going to combine the two, but I have complete faith in James Cameron. Now I (nor anyone else) have not seen ANYTHING from this movie (only pictures of Cameron on the set). It was also reported that this is the most expensive movie ever made. With a production of over 300 million (Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End was 300 mil.), I know James Cameron is cooking up some serious shit. December 18th, Im fucking there.