Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Okay, let me first start off by saying... This is a Michael Bay film. That being said, when you go to see a movie with the word "Transformers" in it, I wonder, what are you expecting? All I have been reading is nothing but bad things about Revenge of the Fallen, yet the same people praise the first film. I loved the first Transformers, but I aside from running time (which I didn't mind at all), and a few Jar Jar Binks-esque characters, the films dont differ too drastically.

2009 doesnt really hold too too much for me, in terms of anticipation. For instance, Transformers and James Cameron's Avatar are the top films Ive been anticipating, but not even nearly as much as I had for Rambo and Indiana Jones last year. But I was still anticipating Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen quite a bit. And I got exactly what I wanted. A quadruple dozen robots bashing the fuck out of each other across the globe. What did I get? Exactly what I just said. Yes, I had a few gripes with the film, but did it really matter to me after the fucking HOUR-LONG battle in Egypt? FUCK NO. That was insane.

Everyone instantly knew that Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen was going be way bigger than the first, due to it being a Hollywood sequel... Directed by Michael Bay. In terms of scale, this is the biggest movie ever made. It's ridiculously awesome. The movie was done with a 195 million dollar budget, but I could have sworn it cost way more to make. The CGI (as it was in the first) was fucking incredible. Not one sketchy frame in the film. Ive said it before, and Ill say it again... Transformers (2007) has THEE best CGI in any movie. And that's a fact. You can freeze-frame any transformation scene, and you will see a completely photo-real rendering job. The same goes for Revenge of the Fallen.

Now all the critics and most of the fans' main complaint about this film is, "The story was absurd! The pacing was slow! And it was too long!". Once again... Michael. Bay. Film. The story? The story is no more than it should be for a fucking Transformers film. There was enough story to drive a thousand awesome global-action sequences. The pacing, I thought, was fine. It's not like it was slow at all. The only problem I found, was the structure. And Im not even sure exactly where the structure goes wrong, but it just felt weird at times. And it's length did not bother me. If it bothers you, LEAVE THE FUCKING THEATRE. Really, if a film is running too long for you, and it's almost unbearable, then fucking leave. There was not one scene I was really bored with, so I cant really complain about the running time.

There were definitely more than enough action sequences to keep my dick hard. I mean, you have the whole Optimus Prime entrance fight scene in Japan, the forrest battle, and the whole end battle. And there's little battle sequences sprinkled in between all of them. So there was definitely enough robot action for one nerds skull. My favorite complaint of the series is, "With all the fighting, you dont even know who's who!". That is why I love it so much. It's just a chaotic, shiny, clanky, mechanical mess! It's fucking great. I love almost having seizures due to action-overload.

Now I do have quite a few gripes with the film. One, er... Two being Skids and Mudflap. Skids and Mudflap were uber fucking annoying. You know, they're the two twin ebonics-talking robots? Now, as I do hate the two characters, when I got home, I grew an appreciation for them. And because? Well, because of Harry Knowles of Aint It Cool News. When I read his review of Revenge of the Fallen, he was deeply offended. Because his nerd dreams were crushed? No, not a mention of that. He was offended due to the stereotypes brought upon Skids and Mudflap and other characters. Haha, what a cunt. I dont know about you, but the title of his review makes me love the film even more "Transformers 2 is foul-mouthed, racist & misogynistic!". Hahaha! Really, grow a dick. But yeah, all in all Skids and Mudflap were my only main gripes of the film. I mean, Im walking into a Michael Bay action film based on action figures... I expect to leave my brain at the door. But those two characters were just really irritating and corny. Another gripe was the lackage of The Fallen and Devastator action. I felt The Fallen could have battled a bit more, but whatever. Though, the Devastator transformation sequence more than makes up for his amount of screen time.

One surprise from the first film, for me, was the score. I was surprised how good and memorable it was. The first time around, I didnt really notice it. But when I saw it loaded in IMAX, that's when I noticed it. I had never heard of Steve Jablonsky before (eventhough his previous works are pretty ass [Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake]), but I was impressed with what he did with the first films' score. Though, I knew there was something familiar that I liked. Turns out, he is a protege of Hans Zimmer, so there you have it. But when he was announced to score Revenge of the Fallen, I was relieved. The score for Revenge of the Fallen isn't really anything new. It's got a few new themes here and there, but all in all it's a pretty decent score. I just really like his useage of the main Transformers theme throughout the film. It really makes my want to wrap myself up with tin foil and battle everything.

Bottom line, I dug the film a lot. And I dont really see how someone who loves action wouldn't. Does the movie have a great story? No. Does the movie have great acting? No. Does the movie have incredible structure? No. But really, what the fuck do we go to these movies for, especially when it's a Michael Bay film? The action. And that's 80% of the god damn movie. Im not making "excuses" or defending anything. If you want to see a dickload of robots destroys each other all across the planet, then fucking see this. It's as plain and simple as that. Now if you hated the first one, you'll definitely hate this one. But if you liked the first one, chances are that you might like or love this one. Was the first film better? Sure. But only because they had to establish everything still (which usually hurts a film, making it feel nothing more than a "set-up" film). But it actually helped the first film. Due to them trying not to cram too much shit in one film. But with Revenge of the Fallen, I feel as if they thought they established all they needed, and just wanted to have an orgy of nerdgasm battles left and right. And Im so glad they did.